Guided by an Angel to Reach for the Stars...
This picture of me in New York City over the Christmas Holiday is very inspirational for me….I hope we can all gain some strength from it.
I was pretty sad. Aunty had passed on November 18th. I remember while I was in the thick of caring for her at home I could not even imagine ever leaving my house once she died. Just scroll around this blog for two minutes and It’s clear that Aunty and I were inseparable. I mean I gave my heart and soul to her and she to me. We loved each other fully and complemented each other. We cherished and thrived on our rituals, routines, traditions. Best way to say it>we were happy.
After I nursed and guided Aunty into the next dimension and gave her (what many are calling) the ultimate wake, funeral mass, and a fitting gravesite sendoff, I was completely wiped out. I could barely breathe. I was lost without her.
But, I was also alive with dreams and hopes and aspirations that had long been put on hold because of my enormous devotion and commitment to giving Aunty a “happy life.” Something inside of me, along with the voice of my angel Aunty told me to keep on going! I heard Aunty say this is your time now. Somehow, for all the things I did right by her and the awareness that Aunty is truly and indeed still with me, comforted me and allowed me to go on. Of course it’s not easy. I am not quite the same these days. Deep down my heart aches for Aunty. I adore and love her more every single day. I also know that life is for the living. Even while she was alive she wanted success for me. She saw, and she knew how hard I worked on my projects. Now I feel more compelled than ever to make something of myself.
So, with some coaxing from my dear friend Dale, I went to visit her in New York. And, while I may not have been my over-the-top self, dashing all over Soho and beyond, I showed up and I took in the sites. I strolled down Fifth Avenue. I took the ELF tour (skating at Rockefeller Center like in the movie ELF). And, I just enjoyed being with my friend.
Looking back now, I didn’t think I would even be able to get out of bed without Aunty to care for and dote over. And the reality is nothing is the same. It’s like my world as I knew it has gone dark. But, my heart still beats, I breathe in and I breathe out. I can feel bad and mope around and stay in bed, or I can try and slowly pick up and continue on. I can accept that this is a difficult time in my life. Losing Aunty is profoundly heartbreaking. All you have to do is take one look at her to get a feeling of the vast loss. She is pure love and light! I need to be kind to myself.
Thanks to Aunty’s legacy and the wonderful life we built together, thanks to you (the loyal readers of Ageless with Aunty) and the Divine Universal Power of the Holy Spirit…I am able to keep on my journey, and even reach for the stars! Because just like you, and just like Aunty, I am stronger than I think!