EVERYONE LOVES AUNTY...

         she is irresistible          

                   

I HAVE LEARNED TO MAKE THE MOST OF A TOUGH SITUATION, TOUGH IN THE SENSE THAT AUNTY (WHO LIVES WITH ME) CAN NOT BE ALONE. SHE HAS DEMENTIA AND WHENEVER I HAVE TRIED TO GO OUT IN THE PAST, SHE FORGETS I SAID I WILL BE RIGHT BACK. SHE HAS STARTED CRYING, CHANGING THE ENTIRE HOUSE AROUND, PANICKING, AND JUST BEEN AFRAID. IT DID NOT TAKE ME LONG TO REALIZE I HAVE TO TAKE HER WITH ME WHERE EVER I GO. THANK GOD SHE HAS THE PERSONALITY OF GEORGE BURNS, BETTYE WHITE, AND MAE WEST, WITH THE HEART OF MOTHER TERESA. NEEDLESS TO SAY, EVERYONE LOVES HER, AND SHE IS WELCOMED MOST PLACES.


HOWEVER, SOMETIMES I MIGHT LIKE TO DO THINGS THAT AUNTY CAN’T, LIKE WALK OR RUN FIVE MILES. SO, I CAME UP WITH AN INGENIOUS PLAN. I BRING AUNTY TO THE LOCAL COFFEE SHOP. I HAVE THEM BREW HER UP SOME GREEN TEA, I GIVE HER THE LATEST ENQUIRER MAGAZINE, AND THEN I RUN AROUND THE BUILDING UNTIL IT EQUALS FIVE MILES. I FEEL LIKE ASTRO ON THE JETSON'S TREADMILL…EVERY FIVE MINUTES I SEE AUNTY, I WAVE, AND THEN GO AROUND AGAIN. THIS ALSO WORKS AT THE HEALTH CLUB. SHE WATCHES WHEEL OF FORTUNE WHILE I USE THE STAIRMASTER AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY, I SAY EVERYONE BECAUSE ALL THE PASSING MEMBERS SEEM TO ENJOY SEEING A SMILING AGELESS AUNTY ON THEIR WAY INTO THE CLUB. AND AT THE ASHRAM WHERE WE DO YOGA, THE GURU’S CONSIDER AUNTY A WISE AND RADIANT SOUL, AND THEY HAVE ENCOURAGED HER TO PARTICIPATE FROM A CHAIR. AND YES, I MEAN PARTICIPATE, BECAUSE WHEN I TURNED AROUND ONCE, AUNTY WAS TRYING TO DO A DOWNWARD DOG FROM HER SEAT. DON’T ASK…

WHEN IT CAME TO MEETING UP WITH SOME OLD FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL THE OTHER NIGHT (IN A MINI-REUNION ARRANGED THROUGH FACEBOOK) I THOUGHT IT PROBABLY WASN’T THE BEST PLACE TO BRING AUNTY. BUT, THE PERSON STAYING WITH HER WAS ONLY AVAILABLE FOR A FEW HOURS. I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN I ASKED IF THEY WOULD DROP AUNTY OFF AT THE PARTY. THEY DID, AND AUNTY WAS AN INSTANT HIT. SHE STARTED DANCING AND WENT INTO FULL MERRYMAKING MODE WITH ALL THE GIRLS, MOVING HER HIPS, LAUGHING, AND ASKING “WHERE’S MY CIGARETTE?”

SURE, I COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING THE ONLY ONE TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF AUNTY, IT’S NOT ALWAYS EASY. SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD WAKE UP AND JUST GO FOR A WALK OR RUN, OR NOT HAVE TO HIDE MY TOOTHBRUSH BECAUSE SHE WILL USE IT, BUT I CAN’T. YET, WHEN WE SIT AND HAVE OUR TEA TOGETHER AND SHE SAYS, “YOU GIVE ME A HAPPY LIFE,” SOME HOW HAVING TO PUT MY TOOTHBRUSH IN THE KITCHEN, NEXT TO THE TOASTER, DOESN’T SEEM LIKE SUCH A BIG DEAL.