Monday, November 28, 2011


~Sleep in heavenly peace~

Aunty died as she had lived…with perfect and utter love!

My darling Aunty passed away peacefully in my arms Friday evening November 18th. She was loved and adored right into eternity. It was the most sacred and intimate experience of my entire life. She was surrounded by pictures of her beloved family, including her late devoted husband, daughter and parents. The only light in the room was the twinkle of the Christmas tree, the flickering angel, and the glow of the evening peace candles. After I had anointed Aunty in lavender oil, with the sound of soft Christmas Carols in the background, including Silent Night (her favorite song) I turned on some lush lullaby music and sat by her side. I started to tell her again about how much I loved her and how thankful I was for all she has done for me and for several generations of our family. She smiled from her bed and opened her eyes. No one ever loved me as much as she did in that moment. I  told her I would write a book about her. I assured her I would be okay. Then, knowing she had missed her family immensely, I told her that her husband, and daughter and all her brothers and sisters were waiting. She smiled again. She held my hand. I rubbed her head. I put my head on her pillow. We were eye to eye. I held her hand. I held her head then I laid down beside her. After I told her all the beautiful truths about her life (which I knew would to allow her to pass peacefully, gracefully and courageously) she slowed down her breathing. She looked at me with utter love from God himself and breathed her last few breaths. It was intensely and profoundly spiritual and will sustain me for all my days to come. It completed her journey here in the physical sense, but, she is ever present. I take enormous comfort in her divine death. I feel like a midwife to her soul. I helped her ease into eternity with all the love in my heart and soul, with every bit of my being!  I write all these words here, but no mortal words can truly express what transpired that wondrous evening. Exactly as I had predicted…her last breath went right into me and now I shall continue Aunty’s legacy of pure love.
She was compassionate to every living being, She forgave all who harmed her, She gave to everyone in need on many levels. She comforted the sick and dying before her. She lived to give, and gave all she had and even more. I will do my best to uphold such a high standard of human being-ness. As always, for Aunty I can and will do anything. I now have a flock of golden angles…with my precious baby girl at the helm and always by my side and in my heart. I will do great things in her name. Amen.
I saw to it that Aunty had a glorious wake, funeral, and out of this world burial. I am receiving countless emails about it. Stay tuned for more on how to create a perfect ending to life here on earth. Good stuff for sure….

Thursday, November 17, 2011


especially at Christmas
When I found out Aunty had a terminal illness, I had to make a decision whether to take care of her at home or consider an alternative. But, let's face it. There is no place like home!

Of course I decided to care for my baby girl at home. She has nurtured, nursed and cared for me ever since I was born. Since her diagnosis in early September we have bonded to a rare and exceptional level. I have been nurturing, nursing, and caring for her with all I've got. These past two months have been the hardest two and a half months of my life. At times I simply can not believe how overwhelming and daunting it is to take care of someone you love more than anything in the world who you know is dying.

But, being like Aunty (happy at heart) I decided since we both have an extreme affinity for Christmas we would decorate and start the season early. Knowing Aunty probably wont make it until December 25th, I wanted us to have one last Christmas together. And, as it turns out, so did she. We put up our (first fake) tree and now our house is just like it is every Christmas except this year we have a hospital bed in the living room, a commode in Aunty's room, a home-health aide in the guest room, and a myriad of medicines in the bathroom. But, there is still LOVE and plenty of Christmas spirit in every room.

Aunty sure is glad she's home. Last weekend we played all our treasured holiday music including Aunty's favorite, Silent Night. She sat in her chair and swayed back and forth (well tried to anyway). You could see her smile as I rubbed her head, and then held her hands. I told her how happy I was. Just knowing that she made it this far, and is still with me, and able to enjoy our favorite season is the greatest Christmas gift I have ever received. I just cried and cried tears of joy and tears of sorrow. I knew it would be our last Christmas. But, boy the ones we had were so deeply satisfying they will sustain me until I hug Aunty again in heaven. For now, we are home for the holidays!
A glorious Christmas past

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Aunty's "babies" watch over her while she sleeps
I do too...

There are seven wonderful comments on my last blog post! At a time like this, your words, and thoughts, and prayers go a long way. I wanted to thank you by leaving a comment myself. But, as it turns out, I cannot. Something is wrong with my blogger program. With Aunty being so sick, I don't have the time to fix it. So, I literally say no comment.

 Many have asked me for an Aunty update. She is sick and getting weaker. Today she could barely open her eyes. However, Aunty is not giving up yet. She is amazing me till the end. I am learning from her every breath about life and how to be a better person. She has always been a wise master at transcending the karma of people who are not so nice. She taught me today as she lay there in a peaceful sleep by the Christmas tree with the candles glowing and the lullaby’s not let greedy people get you down. Even under our dire circumstances of late, we have recently had some people trying to bring us down, if you can imagine that. But, with Aunty in the state of grace and loving and forgiving until the end, how can I be any other way but literally above it all...just like my Aunty! The love we share puts us at the top of the world! Aunty is protecting and enlightening me even as she is dying… What a woman. What a blessing!

Aunty with her fake ciggerette and sunglasses...
still a hoot till the end

That's my in the light