Saturday, November 14, 2020



I REALLY MISS MING! I miss how he had a tiny blue baby teddy bear buckled safely into the back seat of his car from the day I met him!


I miss how he would ALWAYS play me Beatles music (ever since our first date) knowing I LOVE the BEATLES.


I miss how he would buy Persimmons (please try this most delectable fruit if you haven’t) This orange color gem is superb. He would carefully and patiently wait days or weeks while the fruit would ripen. It has to be soft to the touch. He would always tell me “you have to wait Sweetie!”

And when we waited it was a perfect succulent treat! I bought two last night and I can hear him saying to me “My Sweetie has to learn patience.” So, I will wait till it’s just right!


I Miss how he would call me “Sweetie!”


I miss his healing. He was a true healer. He had opened his own Tao Health Center back in the 90’s. He was well versed in health and wellness. And if I ever had any ailment or discomfort he would sit at the side of the bed with his hands over me and pray and speak and channel some healing force. Miraculously given the power of his love and his healing touch whatever was bothering me always went right away!

 I miss how he would bring home lots of healthy food from his favorite store Trader Joe’s. I can still see him carrying the heavy bags of food up the stairs.

He had suffered with heart disease for over twenty years and NEVER EVER EVER complained! He even insisted on carrying the groceries.

Of course I helped too but he was a true inspiration.

 I miss sharing a huge bowl of popcorn with him while we watched our favorite movies like Totoro, Ponyo, and Miracle on 34th Street. And he LOVED ELF!

 I love how he would tease me by saying how well he knows the streets of Boston. “I know them better than my sweetie does!’ He LOVED driving and we drove all over New England together.

 I miss how much he loves Christmas and how every year we called our tree “Puffy Green!” I miss watching him treasure and savor his Aunties black rum cake each year at Christmas. She would wrap it in wax paper and put it in a tin. (I still have a few of the tins).

He handles it with great care and would carefully unwrap and have a little sliver a few times a week so it would last a long time. And apparently the run was a great preservative.

 I miss going to the Cape with him every June! We’ve been to every part of the Cape Together over the years. One favorite spot was Mattakeese Wharf restaurant at sunset.  He had discovered it in a magazine and I said it can’t be too good if they have to advertise. Well, Ming was right again! Having a cucumber martini on a summer night by the sea with your loved one by your side while your just caught fish is cooking, that is a perfect summer night.

 I miss hearing him say “Did you call your mother?!” He LOVED every single person in my family and they loved him! We all miss him dearly. My mother and my dear friend Gracie still have long conversations about him. And I honestly can feel him smile from heaven when we do. And even now as I write this…he is happy. I only wish I had honored him more while he was alive. 

 I miss how much he loved his own family. He would always call and visit them and I have to say his family is simply wonderful just like him! Thankfully I still keep in touch and visit them. They make me happy too.

 I miss him buying all kinds of Christmas gifts for EVERYONE EVERY YEAR…even a pen, a book, a pet rock, a picture frame, or some little thingy. If I thought the gift was just too silly to give like a screwdriver, or a small address book, I would say don’t put my name on it. He would laugh. And turns out it became a thing. Everyone looked forward to Ming’s presents. 

 I miss how he loved to dance. He loved the time we got invited to a private club in NYC and stayed out till three a.m. He was in his glory…he loved to have fun! I miss dancing with him at our friend’s summer barn dances. He was the first one there and last to leave.

 I miss how he would always prepare healthy meals. He probably spent most of his time in the kitchen. He often shared that one of his favorite memories was sitting in the kitchen watching or helping his mother cook.

Sometimes I would laugh and say “Please make something other than beans and rice!” And the day he passed he had just finished making a pot of rice.

 I miss him letting me drive his shiny blue Honda the one with the tiny blue teddy bear buckled in the back seat.

 I miss hearing him listening to his sacred Indian flute music, or playing his drum.

 I miss how he would be one of the faithful few who would ALWAYS COMMENT on my blog. That really meant a lot to me.  If anyone goes back to read  it’s called Ageless with Aunty (during the 2010-2018 posts) you can see his kind comments with almost every post!

 I miss how he would take me to our North Shore beaches every summer weekend. We had our ritual; sitting, sunning, me walking, him swimming, then into the car he would have a gallon of water ready and wash the sand of my feet (or aunty’s or my friend’s). This most kind gesture speaks volumes. He was humble and most kind. Then off to the Causeway restaurant. I keep this up with friends now. I hope there a family member out there who will join me in re-creating a Ming day.

 I miss how he would call me EVERY DAY!!!! He genuinely and completely loved me. And I loved him too, but, I didn’t fully realize just how much until he was gone.  And now I love keeping his memory alive. I more than realize what a blessing he is and was!!! Yet, I do have to say, he did drive me crazy at times!!! However, a close friend recently said, “It just worked for you. You two had this dynamic that just worked! And apparently it did. I truly feel blessed.  He actually was quite precious.

 As I write this I am wearing the Ralph Lauren pajama’s I bought for him at our last Christmas together. And I wear his blue jacket with Indian Feathers on it, and sometimes his slippers. He called them his “kitchen slippers.” They almost fit me…but they sure do keep me warm and cozy. Just like all these absolutely cherished memories.

 There are endless things I could say. WE had so much in common and were always making plans. We did a whole bunch of stuff together. We always had something fun, spiritual, deep or frivolous on the agenda.

 Ming has always been my teacher. He taught me a lot and still does. Even now after writing this I feel he is helping me to send a message. PLEASE if there is a kind, wonderful person in your life who really LOVES you don’t take them for granted EVER! If you want to be honest, it’s always the nice people, the ones we know we always be there and truly care that we sometimes take most for granted. This is a reminder directly from heaven…Let’s all try to give a little more love today most especially to someone you know truly loves you and someone you may have taken for granted. I hope you can do this before they too go to heaven….

 Love, Renee


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